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About Deviant Artist Fatty Ding DongsMale/United States Recent Activity
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Man, it's sad when a lot of the folks I'm watching are doing all these affordable commissions and I don't know what I want them to draw for me, lol.
Hina's Tease by Twardz
Hina's Tease
I got bored and want to draw something.

I did.

In dA Muro.

Ah... well I dunno I guess I couldn't let it go at just Hina holding her bra on so I made an attempt at at a background too. lol...
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I suppose it's time I spoke up. A lot of things have been bothering me lately and I just can't seem to get passed them. That's why I've been having trouble getting myself to commit to drawing or talking much on here. So in order to alleviate some stress on myself, I'm going to make a journal about what's bothering me. I don't know what to expect from doing this but I figure I at least owe a bit of an explanation.

Last year I had a falling out with my important someone and kind of had an on-again/off-again relationship for a few months (not going to get into the details). A lot of this was during the time my PC was down and a big reason I didn't bother to fix it until much later. Using a PC and being online all the time didn't really seem to help me, and I admit that's alienated me from the lot of you (sorry). I mean yeah, only reason I knew my PC didn't work was because I didn't turn it on for like 5 days of not leaving my bed/couch other than to work or go to the bathroom but it's different when you want to check stuff out and you have to ask to use someone else's PC, lol. Anyway, that brings me to why I'm still not submitting much of anything despite have gone through the trouble of fixing my PC and making it sound like I was 'back'.

Late June this year my Grandmother died.

Not a terrible shock. She was almost 95 and often wasn't present in-mind. It was one of the few times in my life I actually found myself praying for someone's soul - when I got the news she was on her deathbed I mean. I was okay with her passing - thinking back on it, it was actually kind of a relief given her condition. However, something happened that I think stunted mine and the rest of the family's grieving... with it being so personal, I think I should refrain from mentioning what it was - but I can't help but feel that I lost another close family member that day. Mind you, they didn't die. They just changed so much that I'm still a little uncertain of how to talk to them. I feel that's made me in turn change too. I think I've either become to shy too talk to anyone, and if I do I feel like I'm kind of a jerk. Saying smart-ass shit or just telling someone to go fuck themselves. This may have been also copulated with my breaking up from a relationship I probably shouldn't have been in months before but still - I feel I've lost myself somewhere and I'm struggling to return home.

From all this, I really don't know what to say now. I want to say 'don't pity me' but I also feel like I'm missing my friends and stuff I liked to do. All I can think of doing is working, playing video games, getting drunk and just be alone. I know I need to talk more about stuff but - I keep thinking I shouldn't bother anyone personally... so I compromised and made a journal about it, lol...

... Sorry, I suppose writing this is kind of like making a small effort but kind of feels like self-pity too. So I really don't know what to do.

I'm gonna try to get in the groove of drawing digitally tho'. I owe some people some stuff and I can't stand the thought of just letting it go cause I feel like a giant turd.



Please excuse this mess.
-Twardz

deviantID

Twardz
Fatty Ding Dongs
Artist
United States
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:icondeathbychiasmus:
DeathbyChiasmus Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave on Boomhauer Plays Katawa Shoujo!
Reply
:icontwardz:
Twardz Featured By Owner 4 days ago
no problem, thanks for stopping by!
Reply
:iconcekario:
cekario Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2016  Student Writer
So I've watched JoJo's Bizarre Adventure up to the 3rd episode of the second half of Part 3, and man, am I glad I followed your advice to watch from the very beginning, and not just Part 3. Part 2 is my favorite arc, so far.

Dude... what have I been doing these past years NOT watching Jojo?
Reply
:icontwardz:
Twardz Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2016
You spent all these years NOT listening to me! haha

Well I'm glad you did end up enjoying it after all. Stardust Crusaders is where a lot of folks start because that's the part that get forced down everyone's throat, lol. Good for you for resisting starting there!
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:icontwardz:
Twardz Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2015
:iconfacepalmplz: good lord, lol.
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:iconzero-w:
Zero-W Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2015
Not sure if I should be the one to comment first in a journal w/ no comments...
But yeah

Keep that head above water, bud
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:icontwardz:
Twardz Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2015
honestly i can't remember the last time we spoke, but thanks for the encouragement man!
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:iconamlua:
Amlua Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2015
thx for the fav ;)
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:icontwardz:
Twardz Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2015
No problem, thanks for stopping by.
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